Let me start off by saying I'm sorry for not posting a blog for alomst 6 MONTHS! But yeah, I became a mom and have been a little preoccupied. So this blog post will not be the fashion and style that you are use to seeing, but I feel that I need to tell you about my journey of becoming a mother.
Becoming a mother was NOT something on my bucketlist of things I must do. It's not that I don't love children, I do! But the process of being pregnant and the responsibilty of raising a child scared the poop out of me!
So there I was, married for a year and a half, 37 years old and not pregnant. By the way, my husband wanted a baby BAD! He was 43 at the time and I think he had a biological clock that was ticking for both of us. He wasn't the only person wondering when we would get pregnant. His parents, my mom, our friends, my clients, needless to say I felt a little pressure. Everyone would always ask "when are you and your husband going to have a child?" or my personal favorite (insert sarcasm here and an eye roll) "you are in your late 30's and you aren't getting any younger, so don't you think it's time?". The questions didn't really bother me, but how am I supposed to answer them when I didn't know deep down inside how I truly felt. So I would usually answer with "when God wants us to have a baby, we will have a baby.". And that is exactly what happened, God blessed us with a baby.
At the end of July 2015, I started to feel nauseous and could not eat anything! This lasted for about 3 weeks until my hubs got angry and told me to go to a doctor. He hates it when I can't eat. Feeding me is one of his ways of taking care of me. So after lunch with him one Monday, where I didn't eat a morsel of food, I got a pregnancy test on the way home. Took the test and it only took 30 seconds for that bright pink positive sign to come through and stay that way. I may have freaked out a little. Okay, a lot. I cried, called one of my BFFs and cried some more. After I calmed down, I sat outside for hours trying to stare into the future to see how my life would be. It didn't work. I had no clue what was coming. Eventually I did call my man to tell him and I think he wasn't sure if I was being honest! So I sent him a pic of the test in our bathroom so he would know that it was FOR REAL!
Not gonna lie, the next 8 months were not easy. It could have been much worse and I'm very thankful it wasn't. But I had morning sickness every day all day and I couldn't eat for the first 2 trimesters. That's 24 weeks people!!! I actually lost weight, which infuriated my loving husband. He thought just because I couldn't eat that the baby wasn't getting her food. Well the doctor explained that that wasn't how it works and she was getting everything she needed. HALLELUJAH!
Fast foward to delivery time! I was terrified! Because of my age and a pre-existing blood pressure issue, my doctor thought it would be best if we scheduled a day to be induced. So March 8th was the day or so I thought. We went in at 3pm that afternoon, started the procedure at 6pm and baby decided to make her entry into the world on March 10th at 10:03 am. If you don't want to do the math, that is 40 HOURS!!!! She did not want to come out and my body wasn't letting her go!
When the doctor finally handed baby girl Ella to me my world disintegrated and a new one grew in its place. She was my new world and SHE was the ONLY thing that mattered now. My heart hurt becase it was so full of love, a love that I had never known. All I wanted to do was stare at her. It was like she wasn't real, like I was holding a perfect doll. At that very second, I knew there was a God. There wasn't another explanation for this beautiful creature that my husband and I were blessed with.
Ella has made me a better human being and given me more faith than I knew I had. I know raising her will be challenging at times, but I don't want it any other way. All the drama of the delivery and pregnancy was worth it because in the end, I have her. So yeah, I am very thankful I became a mom!
Please take a minute to watch this amazing video that was created by my very talented friend, Julie Lowry owner of Chanterelle Photography. Make sure watch all they way through, even after credits! ;) And don't forget to click HD for a clear viewing. https://www.facebook.com/julielowry/videos/t.1408055647/10209551697694811/?type=2&theater